A Reflection of My Recovery Journey

My long, winding, uphill recovery journey, culminated in a plateau and straightened at the Recovery College. My diagnosis of an enduring mental health condition in October of 2014, is a tip of the iceberg.

As I reflect, the whole story started when I was a child. I found it hard to engage with my peers in the playground: I preferred to be alone – I guess that was social anxiety. My energy levels and work rate were not normal for a third-grade boy. Working in our family garden was endless digging, raking, mulching, and irrigating.

Reflecting on my childhood experiences, anxiety and depression took control of my life, almost paralysing me and I became a chronic insomniac. I simply could not sleep well for years: It was debilitating. Despite all odds, I was resilient and made it to university. In my first year, I experienced an identity crisis. I made frequent visits to the students’ GP clinic, just to ask if I appeared male or female. When the GP said, “you’re a male,” I was not convinced. In the end he suggested a referral to a psychiatrist, but I couldn’t consent. It was an express no from me as I felt I wouldn’t stand the stigma of a mental health diagnosis among my peers and in the community.

I finished my programme at university in June of 2001 and started working. The demands of the workplace and the community were unbearable for me: I suffered a crisis – An identity crisis, coupled with anxiety and depression. I started drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes as a coping strategy but little did I know that I was on a downward spiral. In October of 2014, after suffering from bereavement of a loved one, I failed to cope with the grief which became a mental health crisis. I was hospitalised for being a danger to myself and others. It was a “Section” of 42 days in hospital, but I recovered within 30 days and was discharged with a diagnosis of Bipolar Affective Disorder. I was shocked but I managed to process my emotions and embraced it. I complied with medication and tried to make lifestyle changes, but it wasn’t an easy journey. In September of 2016, I relapsed and was re-admitted into hospital for 12 days as if I were supposed to complete the original “Section” of 42 days. On discharge, my clinician candidly said, “Brian, I don’t want to see you here again!” I knew what she meant because I was treated with salvage medication on my second admission.

When I landed in the United Kingdom of Great Britain in February of 2023, I brought with me a transfer letter from my specialist which had details of my diagnosis and medication treatment. I registered with my GP who created an electronic medical record and referred me to secondary mental health services for specialist care and treatment. I received world class holistic care and treatment which included employment support from Employment Individual Placement and Support (IPS). My engagement with IPS services lasted nearly a year and was life changing. It helped me to build confidence through recovery at the workplace. During one of our career advice meetings my IPS suggested I volunteer with South West Yorkshire Partnership NHS Foundation Trust (SWYFT), giving me options for volunteer placement. The Wakefield Recovery & Wellbeing College appealed to me at first sight, and I dived in to make an application to get involved as a volunteer co-facilitator.

My experiences at the Recovery College provided a new dimension in my life – it was a complete paradigm shift. My volunteer placement and Individual Learning Plan (ILP) was well crafted by the college co-ordinators it turned out to be a mirror reflection of my lived experience, and it automatically became my occupation. The volunteer huddles were heart-warming, educative, and informative creating a fertile ground for confidence building and growth. I executed my volunteer placement and ILP with expert guidance from the college co-ordinators, facilitators, other volunteers, and the secretary. My ILP as a co-facilitator was designed to help me recover from my diagnosis and some symptoms of anxiety and depression. I attended numerous wellbeing courses which culminated in me co-facilitating courses for anxiety and depression, including a reflective exploration of the bipolar course with one of the facilitators.

Being a successful co-facilitator, marked the completion of my ILP, an achievement that was celebrated when I was presented with a certificate in “Development of Confidence & Growth,” during the Volunteers’ Week, 2025. It was a fantastic and wonderful experience that sent me off flying with confidence for personal and professional growth.